Picking a guy named Taco would really spice up Dolphins draft

There’s a part of me that really wants the Miami Dolphins to draft Taco Charlton.

It’s the silly part of me, of course, because even though this guy is an athletic defensive end and could probably tell some great Jim Harbaugh stories from his career at Michigan, it’s that name Taco that is the most attractive factor.

COLUMBUS, OH – Taco Charlton of the Michigan Wolverines celebrates after a sack against the Ohio State Buckeyes at Ohio Stadium on November 26, 2016. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

The Detroit News ran a story saying that his mother and grandmother decided to give him that tasty nickname at a young age for reasons that apparently got lost in family history. Charlton’s given name is Vidauntae, and apparently he has no problem superseding it, or supersizing it, or whatever.

The Dolphins have had plenty of Smith’s on their roster through the years. Thirteen, to be exact. There have been just as many Moore’s. Good, solid names, but what would be wrong with a little Taco time just to spice things up?

Got me thinking about some of the great names in Dolphins history. Here’s a quick list in alphabetical order, with some fantastic talents and some merely fantastic sounds. One thing is for sure. If all of these guys ever were on the same roster at the same time, that would be the most popular team in the NFL, hands down.


Karim Abdul-Jabbar, RB, 1996-99

Tyler Clutts, FB, 2013

Kirby Dar Dar, WR, 1995-98

Mark Super Duper, WR, 1982-92 (Had the middle name legally added in 1995)

Samkon Gado, RB, 2007

African Grant, S, 1990

Gator Hoskins, TE, 2014

Richie Incognito, G, 2010-13

Cory Lekkerkerker, T, 2007

Wahoo McDaniel, LB, 1966-68

Mercury Morris, RB, 1969-75

Lousaka Polite, FB, 2008-10

Jake Stoneburner, TE, 2015

Ndamukong Suh, DT, 2015-present

Garo Yepremian, K, 1970-78


Not meaning to make light at any of these men. On the contrary, I’m a bit jealous.

When you’ve got a tag like Dave George, all first names and nothing flashy, a little bit of excitement goes a long way.

Because of that, I’ve been thinking of switching my byline to “He Hate Me,” just for a few days, but not sure anyone would get the old XFL reference, or that the bank would cash a paycheck made out to that name.