We wanted firings, we got firings, and now it’s strictly on-the-job training for Dolphins staff

 

Let’s suppose for a minute that you’ve never heard of the Miami Dolphins or any of the names associated with the franchise. Follow along for a moment and see if the real-life scenario I paint suggests a strong finish to a bad season.

Miami Dolphins offensive cooridnator Bill Lazor at FedExField in Landover, Maryland on September 13, 2015.  (Allen Eyestone / The Palm Beach Post)

Former Miami Dolphins offensive cooridnator Bill Lazor at FedExField in Landover, Maryland on September 13, 2015. (Allen Eyestone / The Palm Beach Post)

Start with an interim head coach who worked exclusively with the tight-ends unit until recently and is in his fifth season as a full-time NFL staffer.

This man fires both of his coordinators and replaces them with a couple of guys who are in their fourth years in the league. One of them, the new playcaller, is 32 and originally got a pro coaching job because his father-in-law brought him in.

The other, the team’s defensive coordinator, got his chance in the NFL through a friendship with the team’s previous head coach, the one whose firing started this whole midseason game of musical chairs.

Now when the current head coach, the interim, needs advice on tough personnel decisions like this, he can go to the executive vice president of football operations, who has been up and down with a handful NFL teams and until taking on this particular front office job was working as an agent.

Other sources of guidance for the young head coach?

Well, he could talk to his general manager, who tries hard but probably won’t be here next season, or his assistant head coach, who until a couple of months ago was the special-teams coordinator.

Oh, and there’s always the team owner, who acts more like a star-struck fan than a boss when it comes to football matters and seems always to want somebody else to make the call on who runs the team and how.

Put it all together and what have you got? A staff so inexperienced that nobody would be satisfied to place an expansion franchise in its charge, much less a respected organization that has been around for 50 years.

There’s no use worrying about it now, of course. Now doesn’t matter anymore.

How could it, given the real-life scenario we’ve just reviewed?

Every firing the Dolphins have made this season has reduced the team’s experience level when it comes to coaching and advanced the notion that making it up as you go along is a sound strategy.

Ross wouldn’t be rich if he ran his other business operations this way.

Ross never would have been in position to buy a team or a stadium or a fractured fantasy in the first place.